It's Funny
by Dr. Doodle
Summary: Nolanverse. Taster of possible future story. A long one-shot of a vital session between Dr. Harleen Quinzel and The Joker where realisations are made. Harleen thinks she's finally figured him out but has she really? Let the real games begin!


**IT'S HALF 4 IN THE MORNING NOW BUT I COULDN'T SLEEP TILL THIS WAS FINISHED SO YOU BEST HAD LIKE IT OR ELSE! O_O  
*SHAKES FIST***

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_I couldn't resist giving you a little Harleen & Joker scene that popped into my head ;] Kind of a long one-shot of one of their sessions. I'm planning on using this in a future story but I want to get people's opinions on it. I named it after the first chapter of the 'Batman: Lovers & Madmen' graphic novel in which Jack meets Harleen working as a waitress in a bar to pay her tuition fees before his transformation into The Joker. She spurs him on to do something different and unknowingly this has a lasting affect on him. A really lovely twist in their relationship together I think :] Read it if you haven't done so yet, it's a great read! Anyway, enjoy this little scene! :P_

**Disclaimer****:** I don't own Joker, Harleen, Batman etc. All belong to DC comics :]

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"_Take everything you are and everything you were. Your number has been called.  
Fights and battles have begun, revenge will surely come. Your hard times are ahead."__**  
- 'Butterflies and Hurricanes' by Muse**_

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**_**It's Funny**

The light that filled the room made it vibrant as always. So much so that it made the dimness of the faded paint on the walls look freshly painted but this was nothing compared to how blinding her pristine white coat was. Her name tag was immaculate, as though it had never been worn. Her glasses shimmered in the light like new. She decided to wear a light blue shirt today, possibly to accentuate her eye colour. The eyes of course were also perfect as was her skin, like porcelain it was flawless especially with the slightest hint of rosiness to her cheeks. No, there were no changes there. But the hair, there were a few strands out of place. Yes, the hair gave her inner torment away. The process had already begun and she didn't even know it. It had remained immaculate for weeks, stretched back neatly in first a bun, then a pony tail and now the next step would be for it all to cascade out around her face. She'd look better that way, the broad needed to loosen up anyway but then that was the whole point. He wanted her to; he felt the urge to rip the band out that tied that bleach blonde hair of hers back so sloppily. The straightjacket wouldn't allow him to do this now though. He hated the restriction of movement he now had, as if taking his war paint off him wasn't bad enough. However he knew he'd be free soon, this was only temporary. It was only a matter of time.

The two sat in silence for a while looking into each others eyes. This however was not through any suggestion of admiration for each other. Though he would more than likely like to make her believe it was. The truth was that this was pure tension, it was sizing up. Attempting to find a weakness, a glitch of some sort, they both wanted to take the other down a peg or two and the silence had become a reoccurring event in these sessions. They'd had several so far and she still hadn't caved. He liked this one; she was proving to be good sport for him. If anything her persistence made him want to tear her apart even more. He craved it but he could wait. It would make it that much sweeter when she finally gave in. Until then, he'd play patient to this pretty little doctor, make her feel she was somewhat in control. The tension was building as the silence seemed to grow, if indeed silence could do that. He liked the tension as did she. However Harleen refused to let it show, she wouldn't give him that satisfaction. She knew she'd already made the mistake of underestimating him in that sense. She didn't realise at first just how well he knew people, he probably knew them even better than her.

"No." Her soft but determined voice broke the silence and his eyebrows furrowed with confusion as to what the hell she was talking about. They'd been playing this game for weeks, she'd ask all those personal questions that he hated so much and he'd not say a word until she asked him something more trivial instead. Then when Harleen finally thought she'd got him talking through her skills as a trained psychiatrist he'd ask questions of his own. Personal questions and they were all through his accord. And she would answer, after all how could she possibly resist? He knew her parents were still alive. He knew of at least one of her ex-lovers. Then again, almost everybody knew about that but he knew more than she thought he did, or she wanted to admit to anyway. She saw the look on his face and smirked wryly, it was a familiar look to him, one he'd seen many times from one Jonathan Crane, the psychiatrist turned patient. Maybe that's where she'd learned it from? She obviously had close connections to Crane. He took a mental note of this.

_One more point to Mr. Joker._

"You asked me whether I thought you were insane. So I thought about it and I've come to the conclusion that you're not." She told him to which he couldn't help but be intrigued to hear why this was. Everybody else thought he was. He wasn't of course. But to _them_ he was. Was she just saying this in the hopes he'd open up to her for real? Or had she finally given up on him? No, she'd give into him before that happened. She wasn't the quitting type. This was obvious.

"Oh really? And why is that _exactly_?" he pried, putting emphasis the last word as he often did and licking his lips in a suggestive fashion. He liked how it unnerved people, made them feel uneasy. However this didn't appear to wash with her as she continued to make eye contact with him. Refusing to back down and break it off. She was definitely determined this time, she'd looked away before but not this time. This time something was different and he couldn't help but be unsure whether this was through her becoming oblivious to exactly how dangerous he was or whether she just had a lot of balls for such a little woman. If this was the case then she certainly was a tough little cookie, one he'd take great pleasure in making crumble in his hands at that.

He figured she must have been hurt by this ex-lover of hers which was something for him to focus on for future reference. Something to use. After all, he could see the hidden secrets in her eyes. There was an underlying sense of sorrow and regret there. Something that the average person wouldn't see to look at them but he could, or at least he'd make her believe he could. He'd wait for the right time though, he needed her to give him a reason to trigger his descent and catch her off guard. It would make it more enjoyable to have a motive; after all he never usually had one. It would definitely make a nice change. Something unpredictable to get the other white coats all bent out of shape. He knew she would report back to them on their sessions. That was a given. He knew she'd had little to report back and how frustrating it was for her. He also knew she'd start lying for him when things really began to go astray. But he could wait. He would be patient.

"Because it's a mask, like your make up. That's what it symbolises doesn't it? You're not insane but you like to make people think you are by wearing it. Some say that it's war paint but it's not, the truth is that it's just you hiding your true self from the world." She told him and he continued to stared blankly into her eyes. She was growing tired of having little to report back but tried her best to not let it surface. She'd already been through enough without this guy giving her grief. So she'd recently decided to take drastic measures to make him talk. Even if he was a known pathological liar, surely he could be threatened with something?

She'd suffered from many sleepless nights after the incident and sub sequentially had suffered from even more of them after finally being given this man's case. Though she had wanted this for a while now, it couldn't have come at a worse time in her personal life. However she would wade through it and keep her head held high. She still had her pride, still had important people in her life. Sadly this monstrous human being was unwillingly being added to this list of people, he had taken over her life and she knew he knew it. However after extensive studying of his lies and behaviour, she felt that she'd finally figured him out. She'd achieved something the others before her hadn't. She'd gotten into the mind of The Joker without him realising. Or had he done it on purpose? She wouldn't put it past him. She was certain now that this man was definitely the embodiment of pure **evil** and today she was determined to take him down a peg or two.

"They don't take you seriously and in turn this causes them to underestimate you. But that's essential to your plans. You're a schemer Mr. Joker. Just like the rest of us and you _know_ you are." She said this to get a rise out of him but he didn't reply. So they continued to stare into each others eyes with unspoken disapproval, at least it had been unspoken on Harleen's part until now. She wanted to give him a piece of her mind today. She wanted him to know how despicable she thought he was. Not that he'd care but she still wanted him to know she wasn't falling for his tricks. Though his little shards of flattery had had some affect on her, she couldn't deny that. After all, he had the ability to make it sound as though it was something that needed to be earned. That it was through some kind of respect and she supposed in a strange way it was. But she also knew just how dangerous getting caught up in this would be. She knew his tricks, she'd studied them. Harleen knew him now or at least she liked to think she did. With this in mind, she continued in her dissection of his character.

"Well how you execute these plans of yours is proof of that enough don't you think?" Still nothing but she expected this. It was entirely rhetorical in his case.

"Unlike what you want me and others to believe, these things don't just happen by chance. They happen because you _make_ them happen. You are a pathological liar after all. Everything you put out there, it's all an illusion, a show you put on to lead others into a false sense of security.*" she told him and he was quite enjoying this analysis of hers. He liked the amount of thought she'd evidently put into this. It was a good sign so he was perfectly content with listening and watching the way in which her eyes didn't match up with the way she was carrying herself. There was something about them that told him she was unsure of what she was saying. It was definitely interesting though, he'd give her that.

"That's what happened with the mob, they underestimated you. The fact is that they wanted to amuse you at first, pander to the crazy guy in the clown makeup. All because they were desperate; desperate for somebody who at least had some kind of motivation to do something about the Batman and the late Mr. Dent. Naturally you fed off this, like a _parasite_." She concluded the last word with pure venom. Harleen wanted him to know how tough she could be by metaphorically spitting in the face of danger. She was at risk of him attacking her now more than usual by provoking him so if anything she expected it. But he didn't. Instead he sat there, his countenance never changing and this irked her. It was as though all of Harleen's well thought through words were simply rolling off him, like water off a duck's back. There were three possible options to why this was. These being he either didn't care, he wasn't listening or that he was listening so intently that he was in awe of how right she was. And however much she wanted this to be so; she seriously doubted it was the last option. But in this case she was wrong...slightly. But if this carried on then Harleen knew she needed to do something to get to him and something suddenly came to mind. It was so simple that she couldn't believe she didn't think of it sooner. She had something to use against him. Something he definitely wouldn't like. It almost seemed too good to be true and she unwillingly smirked at this which she thought peaked his interest a little as she noticed his eyebrows shoot up. However what she didn't realise was that this was in mock surprise, the fact she didn't let on made it even funnier to him. She really didn't have a clue but she was still acting tough, how _cute_. He resisted the urge to laugh as he wanted to hear more. This was hilarious.

"That's all you ever do isn't it? You feed off the weakness of others for your own amusement. You do it to everybody, the mob, the police force, your therapists, including myself. Even the **Batman**," she wanted to make sure he was listening by mentioning the Bat. The Joker's obsession with him was evident as his eyes changed at the sound of his name. This confirmed that he had been listening when she saw the look in his eyes. They changed from a feeling of indifference to something much darker, something mischievous and unnervingly playful. Despite her many years of experience with the criminally insane, this look was one of the very few things left that sent a chill up and down her spine. However this man wasn't insane like the people she'd worked with. He was something else entirely; she'd pretty much concluded this. Therefore this would give her even more reason to be unsettled by this look of his. There was definitely menace beneath it.

Harleen didn't believe the Batman to be a hardened criminal even if he was a vigilante. There was no doubt in her mind that he was a disturbed individual. After all, how many sane people venture out into the night dressed up like a giant flying rodent and fight crime? Thinking of him that way made him seem so silly, like a little kid playing dress up but Harleen knew he was much more than this. She knew he was someone who could match The Joker, someone who had the ability to get the better of him, who could provoke him. She admired that about Batman and God knows; she could have done with some help from him during this case. It was a shame the cops were still after him otherwise she would have had him there in a heartbeat. After all, maybe he knew something she didn't? She really wanted to meet him and find out.

"And that's your little _conclusion_ is it?" he smacked his lips and chillingly smirked at her as he tilted his head backwards to give her the illusion he was above her. Surprisingly she hadn't seen this look often and considering he was called The Joker, she thought she would have seen him smile an awful lot more. Obviously not including the one that had been carved onto his face in such a reckless fashion. Those scars that played across his face, they still looked sore. However Harleen ignored thinking about this and carried on in her assault.

"It is and I'm right." She smirked and his stayed plastered on his face. This was still too funny for words; she had nothing to threaten him with. Nothing to do with all that supposed power she had. In affect her position as his psychiatrist meant nothing in the grander scheme of things. Absolutely **nothing**.

"You're not insane, you know exactly what you're doing which in my opinion makes you even more dangerous than you appear to be and that's something even _I_ didn't think was possible." She told him and this was true. She did initially fear him because of his unpredictability but now that she'd figured out he wasn't insane, this made her fear him even more. He knew exactly what he was doing and **that**...that was truly terrifying. He sat there still and his smirk finally let up as he began to look indifferent again. Though he was far from it, he was loving it too much. She still couldn't read him, his expressions. He was certain of that so he supposed this was all guess work on her behalf. Kudos for her trying but it was an ill perceived analysis even if it could have been true and in a way it was. He wasn't crazy, no. He was **not**. He was just _different_, ahead of the curve so to speak.**

"You really are the devil in disguise aren't you? This mask you wear to the world helps you get away with murder, literally. It's so easy to see it now." Harleen pressed on and he yawned at this as though it didn't affect him when in truth the words enthralled him. To be referred to as Satan himself was so flattering. She really _did_ care after all. Harleen ignored his yawn and continued to talk, she wouldn't be happy until this was off her chest. She wanted him to know.

"Everybody thinks you're insane so you get sent up here to Arkham instead of Blackgate. It's easier to break out of here because the security's not as tight and it's full of inmates willing to believe whatever you say. After all, they're too ill to decipher what's right and wrong so it's just one big playground for you up here. That and of course the majority of the prisoners in Blackgate want you dead. Which means you really are afraid of death aren't you?" Harleen asked him to which he blinked slowly and smacked his lips together as though this was some kind of reply she was supposed to understand. It was something she'd grown accustomed to seeing in their sessions together. She was fully aware that he was playing her like a violin, smooth yet sharp in its execution. He would only answer on his terms and with this in mind, it made her that much more pleased at what she was about to tell him.

"We're back to no answer again huh? Well Mr. Joker, fortunately for you I value human life, even yours so I'm willing to keep my beliefs of your sanity off the record from the DA's office. However what's unfortunate for you is that I've wised up. I'm not letting you play around with me anymore. I'm through with these little games of yours which is why I'll be placing you in solitary until you come clean about who you really are." She told him and that was the bombshell. She knew how much he'd hated being in solitary before and he rolled his head back, the irritation of his scars accentuating from the light as he did it. It was evident to her that he obviously scratched them a lot when his hands were free to do so and all that sucking on them couldn't have helped them feel any better either.

"_You_," he shook his head and smiled at her with nothing but pure malice in his voice. The deepness of it was threatening enough and that's when he really shocked her by giggling. He was actually laughing at her. She was so ridiculous trying to think that would stop him in his goals but it was clear that she had definitely upped the stakes now. Putting him in solitary made it a little more challenging; he was after all planning on trying to get Crane to talk about her which would have been a chore in itself as Crane had expressed no desire to delve into any sort of conversation with him. However he now considered Harleen to be a woman after his own heart. Upping the stakes was brilliant, she was making things more interesting and he **loved** that. God how he loved it, the challenge of it...it was irresistible.

"You're just full of all these little _surprises_ aren't ya? Tell me doc, is **blackmail** something you're familiar with?" he pried on her, getting too personal like he always did. This time was different though, this time he wasn't just trying to push her buttons. The truth was that he was actually intrigued to see how she'd react with this apparent newly found reckless attitude of hers. Harleen didn't rise to the occasion and simply understood that _she_ was in control now. She had him where she wanted him, at least she thought she did. With this she rose from her chair gracefully, picking up his file and her various pens and pencils that were mainly there for show concerning him. She'd even taken precautions to take the same amount of them in with her for each session so she knew exactly how many there were when she silently counted them as she picked them up before leaving. There were six out of six of them, perfect. No stone left unturned after all. Upon gathering her things Harleen looked down on him and smirked slyly again before leaving.

"I hope you enjoy your new cell over in solitary Mr. Joker. Let me know when you want to start taking these sessions a little more seriously**. I'll see you on Monday," he said nothing but sat there and stared at her with indifference as she turned to leave. Walking towards the door she paused as her hand made contact with the door handle and with this she turned to him again, the smirk still painted on her face. The look of indifference still painted on his as she continued.

"Oh and do enjoy your peaceful weekend. Who knows, maybe you'll finally get a little shut eye? After all, you look like you could use some." He knew that this was referring to his fake yawn from before and with that Harleen opened the door, exiting and swiftly slamming it behind her to make a point. However she was somewhat content with what she had just pulled off and hoped that it had in some way gotten through to him in the way she wanted it to. Unfortunately for her this couldn't be further from the truth. It had affected The Joker yes but definitely not in the way she wanted it to. Instead of acting as a deterrent, it spurred him on even more. He wanted this **badly **and there was no doubt about that. He wanted her to see the world how he saw it and she would. She _would_ fall from grace. He _would_ tear her apart and reposition the pieces exactly where he wished. It was going to happen. There was no stopping it. He would make sure of that.

They wore their masks well but then they were good at that. They both had a lot of training in hiding their emotions. Though Harleen wasn't aware of how much she had in common with him, the truth was that wearing masks was their world. Of course he knew this already. He'd thought about it a lot and The Joker knew that beneath the mask of Dr. Harleen Quinzel was potentially something he could have use for. She was someone he could take advantage of and now that the game was in full swing, he was waiting intently in front of the pitcher ready to swing the bat and hit the ball clear out of the park. The ball being Harleen Quinzel, the park being her sanity. All he needed was the right opportunity and once he'd seized it, it would be such a sweet _**victory**_.

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_* Reference to Mr. J's father in 'The Man Who Laughs: Origins of The Joker' – another little story of mine! :P_

_** TDK references obviously! :]_

_The italics and bold writing is obviously to show emphasis on how words are spoken and to outline important ones in the text. Wanted to do this in Harleen's speech to suggest that she may have picked this up from The Joker.  
So what do you think about this? Like how it's written? Don't like it? Let me know please? :] Review for review – I'm still sticking to that policy!_


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